Tragedy

When we were little children, an event took place that was monumental in our development. Paula was alone one day, inspecting the old ceramic figure brought from Germany that our great grandfather used to keep cigars in. This was in a forbidden area for children: the living room glass display case with other valuable mementos. She was fascinated with the details of the robust woman’s figure and the period garb that lifted to reveal the contents. I saw my sister in passing. Although I knew that wasn’t a good idea, I was just as curious about what she had found. John came bounding along and recognized the breach.  

“Put that back!” he attempted control. 

“No,” Paula chimed, “You can’t make me.” 

He became bossy and told her to put it back, “I’m gonna tell.” 

This only promoted resistance to his demands. When he reached for the container, Paula drew back and it fell, breaking into a thousand pieces.     

  When mother discovered the three of us and the broken heirloom, we were sent to our rooms, to await the wrath of dad when he got home. The task of doling out discipline with a spanking was his to deliver. 

When dad got home and learned that we had broken this valuable item, he headed up to our rooms where we waited. After climbing the stairs, he reprimanded my older brother first. I heard screaming and crying as his bare bottom was spanked. I was terrified at what was coming. My dad came into my room and even before it was my turn, I screamed and yelled in terror. Then I cried as my backside received punishment.  

When it became Paula’s turn, not a peep was heard. She received the same punishment but didn’t react. I learned later, as an act of defiance, she made the decision to not to feel anything. She felt that the punishment was not deserved because she blamed our brother for the breakage. From that point on, I saw my sister go through life cautious about others and her feelings. She was always reluctant, avoiding any emotional extreme, whether it be happiness or refusing to cry when sad. She essentially maintained a flat line emotionally, for the rest of her life.