The circus awoke at dawn. That was a fascinating time to embrace the beauty of a new day as the trucks that carry the show are started. Then we began driving towards another destination in unfamiliar territory. I love to travel.
Imagine a fleet of colorful trucks and trailers with specialized cargo inching its way through the terrain changes that occur along the length of Texas. The fertile valley yielded to alkaline wastelands. Gentle rolling hills gradually became the beautiful lush farm country made special this time of year with bluebonnets and Indian paint brush tainting the fields of green with spots of blue and red.
Every hundred miles the country side changed. The observation of these differences gave this time of day part of its activity. Soon the show was amongst the tall cypress trees of bayou country and headed north into farm country.
It was the spring of the year as the show meandered from the south following the blossoming of spring flowers with the eventual destination being the perfect climate of the Midwest in the summer. From Texas into Arkansas the early morning wonders continued.
The roads took on rugged characteristics as we entered the Ozark Mountains. Hair pin turns and steep grades slowed our progress and provided ample opportunity to take in the sight of old growth woods, primitive dwellings and countryside such as I had never seen before.
One morning sets apart from the rest and made an indelible impression. The curvy roadway followed alongside a river bed. Erosion over eons had carved away the limestone leaving spectacular cliffs that hung out over the road. These cliffs overlooked other large stone formations with still water alongside making picturesque views that added magic to the morning.
Later that same year my mom and dad would discover this same countryside.
During the brief tour through the bayou country of the south on a big top circus, I discovered the challenge of going from a three-pony liberty act to a six-pony act. The difficulty increased far more than if this were a simple mathematical equation. The new ponies had an ever-changing environment filled with audible, emotional and visual distractions. My effectiveness as a trainer often became secondary in the mind of one of my charges.
Now I attempted to stay in contact with the group but when one renegade became turbulent, I discovered I hadn’t yet learned how to stay calm. Instead of the humility that would have served our bond, I entertained the idea of being a powerful, father knows best, with a strict stance that would dissolve instantly if Julie jumped out of the ring. I had created an immense amount of ongoing frustration as the perfectionist in me attempted to get this bigger group to accomplish the routine flawlessly, twice a day.
Late May, I headed to Canada to open once again in Ontario with the Royal Brothers Circus. On the way to Canada, I was able to visit Hayes, show off the rig and livestock and tell him about my next acquisition, a Manege horse for my second act. He then realized I would need to learn how to ride. He suggested that I return at the end of my Canadian tour to take riding lessons. He then called a friend who drove out to meet me.
Clarence Hastings had a background starting with the Cavalry and later with Hunt/Jump stables. Retired now and living nearby in Jackson, he would be happy to give me riding lessons next fall. When the time of reunion, encouragement and friendship was over, it was time to go into Canada.
Once again, Al Stencell met me at the port of entry and satisfied the customs and immigrations people. Then I followed him to the lot. All the preparations for another tour were underway. The big top was going up in the air and the equipment that had been in a storage barn all winter was unloaded and erected for the first time. I was elated to be reunited with my dear friends the Michael family who were here again with their acts. Lynnie and I had become pen pals. I had a friend in her whom I shared innermost thoughts, ideas and dreams for the future. She was a relentless source of encouragement and is an intensely creative person herself. We shared a special place co-creating as our correspondence continued. Now on the same show, we would consume gallons coffee and continue with the interwoven disclosure of our innermost imaginings.
Some of the other performing families and members of the crew were from the tour of two years ago. That familiarity proved to be fun. Upon arrival, I had plenty to do. The series of one day stands with two performances a day began immediately.
On the lot the next morning, with most of the fleet headed towards the next town, among those cleaning up the evidence of our presence was a rookie recruited to pick up manure. I was loading the ponies and dismantling my awning. Being one of the last to leave the lot each day meant that my passenger seat was the logical place to have this new guy ride to the next town. The boss made that suggestion.
My new shot-gun friend was Al Jones the Clown. Starting on his first day, he rode over the road with me each morning and almost the whole time we sang along with Elton John, Neil Young, Alvin Lee and other favorites on my 8-track tape player.
My runaway ego came to the surface as the result of being a star in front of the public. Seduced by applause, acceptance and approval that temporarily existed in the limelight seemed to be a remedy for the lingering esteem damage suffered as a child. Establishing a pattern of behavior that would characterize my method, I wanted more. I found the nightclub scene in Canada. In the excitement of the throbbing music and chemical induced laughter, I was often recognized, idolized and immediately accepted amongst the locals. Always eager to do it again, I often stopped downtown in the morning before getting to the lot to inquire if a band was playing at the hotel that night. The riotous lifestyle seemed to be an answer. Finding this place to fit in worked great at first, but as time mixed with the relentless pace of accomplishing all my roles on the show with this seething caldron, this solution would take a terrible toll.
The glorious tour started across the towns in Ontario I was already familiar with from the tour two years prior and then we went north and west across new territory. Ontario soon disappeared from sight in our rear-view mirrors. As the rhythm of the tents going up each morning and back down each night continued we entered new territory. So did the new sense of stronghold that summer in the northern latitudes has.
With each day the sun stays up longer, and soon teardown was taking place with only slightly waning sunshine. Although late, in these northern latitudes, the night sky often became a magical place. Starting with a slight smoky wisp on the horizon, a little luminescent animation somehow seemed out of place. This would often grow into a wandering and weaving, undulating phosphorescent essence in the darkening sky. If we were lucky, this display of rambling glow would grow to fill the sky and when the animated presence was directly overhead, one could see an inner detail within the wavy shape that had another pulse, mixation and luminous turbulence inside that seemed as hallucinogenic as nature had ever created.
This mixture of various colored lumens would throb and weave, boil and flow in ways that the connoisseur of cloud shapes imitating emotional personalities would envy. Standing in the darkness, looking straight up into this fascinating display of nature, I was totally consumed with awe. As I recollect that moment now, and seek to recall the thought activity taking place at that time, I find none.
Sometimes in the morning just for fun, I would have a different passenger on the trip over the road than my regular shot-gun Al the Clown. The kids on the show found out that I stopped along the way for coffee and a piece of pie or sometimes a banana split and would beg Al the Clown to trade places with them. As we passed through the small towns in the morning, I was on the lookout for an old-time drug store with a soda fountain. Those were the days of downtowns flourishing with mom and pop businesses. Small shops filled these communities. The employees of these stores were part of a family and reflected that with their interactions. They were concerned and curious, and often asked about why we were stopping through their little town. Al and I being proud of our roles with the circus would fill in the blanks on their questions while coming up with curve balls of our own. When we did find one of these interesting places and I found one of the stools along the counter and the waitress showed up, the fun would start that had been rehearsed during the many times that Al and I had stopped before.
“I’d like a banana split,” my banter began, “with the cherry on the bottom.”
This sort of request was sensible to me because I like to eat the cherry last. This sort of interaction would often bring about surprising results. One time, at the end of devouring my ice cream, I found three cherries at the bottom.


